guarding your health;
i nearly passedout;
dizzy spells;
maybe i waited yo long to eat; or didnt drink enough water;;; or mmaybe something is wrong.
sittibng to long;; computer use;;
i got up scared; feeling my energy sapping from me;
Crystal ; dont;; I heard myself saying;;
dont pass out;;; be strong;;
i started prayer to God to strengthen me and it helped;;
i thought water;;
i drank a little; food; i ate a sandwich i could barely eat but knew i wanted to be awake; alive and well;
i needed more water;
i started looking for the source
my sisters kids run downstairs;;
i try to normalize myselg;
my sister folloews;; hunching to hold my self up after kneeling before they arrived;;
i brace myself against the wall;;
screaming on my spirit;; i want to be ok;
my symptoms oddly similar to either low bloodpressure or sugar;
i pray in my spirit;; i want to live;;
please;; right me;; i try to focus;; the children;; ok;; they got to go back up so i find a bottle of water 1/8 full ;; i think thank God;; i drink a little;; im in the bathroom having followed the children;
i turn the faucet on and refill the bottle before i look at my niece grabbing for something;; gesturing that she wants lip gloss;
i laugh i lean over; grateful i haven't passed out;; i grab the shea butter and rub it on her mouth;; there ;; lip gloss;; on her face;; and on her back;;
i see her reach for my brush;; in fact as i write this i realize she still has my pik comb;
i brush her hair and go upstairs;
to my room;; awreck that i had begun finally reorganizing;; the pile of large trash bags i left at the door from my cleaning effforts;
i look at the bed; piled high with the rest of the organizing process;; i fall to lay on the bags;; its just paper i think;; i look up and see my mother water pitcher i found two night ago and had brought up the night before ;; full of water;
thats right;; i came to the room knowing i had some half empty water bottles;
the pitcher!!
i see a cup i left on the shelf ;; conviently in reach from my post laying ontop of the bags of recyclable trash;
i see myself in the large mirror;; i start praying that no force has a right over me but God;; I rebuke whatever this grasp on me;;
i started to feel better;; i reflected on this nightmare i had the night before and how i called for help;; so i thought;;
Crystal-- youre an otherwise health individual;;; pray;;
I prayed my life into Gods hands;; drinking water;; hoping that this dizzying spell threatening to pull me from consciousness;;
the water helped; mainly when i threw a cup ful on my face;; i started messaging my face and temple;
finding the tensions knots;; conviently i had seen a gel face serum i bought from forever21;; i scan the ingredients;; castor oil; allatonion; anise;; i pour it;; it says it cools your skin; and it felt so good;; as i rubbed my face and the rest of my body;;; i felt better;;
whole;
my nephew called from the other side of my door;; half knocked down from the summer;; so i guess if i passed out;; they wuldnt have had a hard time getting to me sin e i normally like to keep my room door locked;;;
i breathe;;
my nephew peeks in;;
what are you doing?? he ask;;
Aunty is taking a break;
him;; a break;;
yeah;;
she neds to sit down and drink water;;
why not on your bed??
me; no room;; and aunty is glad its comfortable right here to drink this water;
i look at the time;;
i have work;
ok;; gotta go;; he wants to stay with me in my room;
i start handing him my work items to help me downstairs to get ready;;
lol;;
i get downstairs having taken the pitcher and cup with me;;
he asks for water;; i give it to him;
he points to his stomach;;
aunty you have to press here like this;
he does an acupressure point below his ribs at his diaphragm;
i point to my womb and do it since it was the first place after rubbing my face with a gel that i put it on;; reflecting;; like at the ob'gyn when your pregnant;
my nephew kisses my stomach and says ok better;
i wonder what the hell is happeneing;
i send him upstairs to get ready for work;; promising snacks before church when i see him;
i wrote this;
i gotta watch my health;; i guesss im due for the doctors and might want to use my old home nurse items on my self to check my sugar and prsseure as a reference;;
that was scary
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