Sunday, June 14, 2015

Re introduction

I am Crystal Okorie, I am a model, fitness expert and trainer, actress, strategic marketer, and financial analyst. I am from Washington, DC and I moved to NYC after graduating from college. My work since then has been primarily beauty, fitness, product developmet, design and marketing in addition to my modeling.

There are a lot of things that have shaped my four years in New York, a large portion upon reflection have a lot to do with my ex. Or rather, based off of my decision to shape my plans and wishes around my ex. I want to jump right into this post in outlining some thoughts and concepts that will help you understand me and my future post.

For the most part, I think of myself as highly evaluative
. I like to know and understand how my actions have shaped my present, reflect on them and share my insights- good and bad to individuals so they can better
themselves and make better decisions- you know and avoid some of my mistakes.

Second, I don’t think that any persons advice or life circumstances can be taken as the Almighty Truth of Life. What works for some, might not work, or be the right choice for others. Likewise, what someone or even many are incapable of doing, may not be impossible for you or other special individuals, as history has taught us.

I am a proud supporter of stay in your OWN DAMN LANE- cause the world needs more of that.

Third, Im the nicest person with an attitude you will ever encounter. I hate bullshit. I am aware for every good person in the world, there’s a rotten individual making it hard for everyone else, who has to shoulder their shit, make peace, and be good kind individuals despite dealing with said aforementioned a –hole.

This is the internet, and this is my writing- i.e my inner dialogue. Frankly, its not healthy to suck it up and be nice twice- for all I know- the writing will be the softer wake up call for nasty individuals to change, or perhaps inspire a backbone to your kindness.

Frankly, trying to censor myself has in large part been the reason for my writing breaks. Simply put- universal law- to thyself be true. Im a good person; I swear, I just don’t have time for cupcake talk all the time and I don’t want to bother.

Fourth: I will include a relationship section. Highlights really I learned from my 5 year relationship and interviews from other women and men. There really is such a thing as bad people when it comes to relationships and I’ve noticed that there are not many writings or conversations about why that is, how to know, and why getting out of it and being ok with setting a standard to not engage with certain people is perfectly OK. As women and even males, I think a need to be perceived as being fair and unpretentious is the cause of accepting such people into our lives.

To cut it briefly, your selling yourself short. And if I have to draw out from experience why dropping deadweight is important. I will. Yes, in some cases, case studies are necessary.

Finally, men are welcome are welcome here. I love you guys, this is not a male bash site at all- if it seems like it- its not.

Laws of Money, Lessons of Life

You have to do whats right for you, before you do whats right for your money.

You have to do whats right for you, before you do whats right for your money. What does that mean? I first heard the term from Suze Orman, in her laws of money dvd; something I had purchased second hand because I knew that it would be good for me. :PAUSE: An interesting notion, but Suze swears that doing what others think is best for you and what you think is best for your dollar is bound to have you struggling to put two pennies together. By the way, we’ve all been there, but my rewatching of the DVD led me to make some frightening discoveries, that I want to share with you- perhaps you can relate, and take some investigative steps backwards to see how you may have ended up in a financial rut and create some


Lies destroy money: truth creates it

Law number 1, Suze is absolutely serious about this one and I get it. When has a lie ever made you feel powerful? No seriously, the only time people lie is because they don’t feel powerful in their own right. REMEMBER THAT. Here’s the thing- and excuse me for jumping to law number 5 for a second, money has no power what so ever. You are the anomaly that comes into play that makes money powerful. In what you do to earn it, and further more how you spend, and I think its important to merge that law up here with law number 1 because Suze states its not just the lies you tell about yourself, what your capable of doing, and financially what you have to give, use, or make, but also, the lies that others tell you.

That being said. The biggest lie that has been perpetuated for too long as that money defines your power and your worth. It simply isn’t true. There are many things that have no monetary value that are powerful and significant; like your ability to eat, have a shelter over your head, your health. There are plenty of people, including you who may not have as much money in your wallet or in the bank as you like, but these things alone are powerful things you are able to do- whichever way you do it- HONESTLY- that say you’ve got something.

I remember when I first lost my job on the outset of the New Year, and I was surviving on $400 a month. $100 which went to internet. $120 which went to my metro transportation. Another $100 for my gas and electricity. $20 for my gym membership. The rest for my food, cat food, kitty litter, and personal toiletries- and I could not pay my rent and at times didn’t think I had enough money for groceries. Here’s the thing- my landlord let me slide for rent for 8 months, up until now and I’m trying to figure out how to pay all the back rent to keep this place within the next 2 days, the food I did buy was fresh fruits and vegetables because I was modeling to support myself and so my health and skin and body had to be on point.

I mean, practically living in poverty, but I had shelter, I learned how to utilize and stock a running pantry where so long as I had flour, beans, potatoes, spices in addition to fresh meat and produce, I could make bread, delicious meals from scratch. In many ways I was eating better than most people who had more to spend were, and looking better for it to.

Why? First off I appreciated what I had, albeit after watching Suze Orman’s DVD last night I realized that if I had understood how powerful I was and how much I had instead of comparing it to what I had, and the belief it needed to match what others were making I might have pulled myself into a better standing much quicker.

What am I trying to get at here? The truth of the matter was that I was blessed in my circumstances and created a means to be productive and powerful with less, a concept that is not introduced to us in the education of money. The universal belief is that you must have more to be more, when in reality when you are more you will create more.

I wont lie and say that it was easy, and further more I can admit that in some respects, I would believe the lie and it led to me destroying my income and surviving on $30 a month- but here’s the thing. When I was in touch with my truth of doing what I thought was best for me, so much more was done, to the extent that friends and associates that come to see me, still think I’m living better than them and think I have too much, but it had everything to do with law number 2.

You have to do what’s right for you, not what’s right for you’re money. I started the post with this statement, and I felt it was important to pull you through a bare essentials, quick tutorial to show how and why this is important. You have one life, and you of all people are the one person who gets a 24/7 input and output of this show. No one, and I mean no one is going to know what’s best for you in any given circumstance, better than you, and even if you do get it wrong, there’s more to gain to making a mistake from your own decisions than on the decision of another.

I had to write a full sheet, because Suze recommends again for you to find where you broke the financial laws that put you where you are, and honestly there were a lot.

Im not going to go into detail about what those are, cause Ive already done a lot of that. Here’s what I am going to leave you with. I want to you to WRITE DOWN, what lies you have told and have believed that have resulted in where you are financially. Where have you spent considerable time rehashing the past, and making decisions based off of what you HAD rather than what you HAVE? What decisions have you made, based off of what was best for your money or the opinions of others rather than what was best for YOU? In what ways have you let believing money defined your level of success, power, and ability- rather than focusing on how you can POWERFULLY drive your situation to create the life that you want?

Write these down.

Then check out this link for Suze Orman, because she is amazing, unfortunately retiring, but like she says, these laws are timeless and timely.

Sources: video: Suze Orman; The Laws of Money the Lessons of Life