I nearly passed out

guarding your health;

i nearly passedout;

dizzy spells;

maybe i waited yo long to eat; or didnt drink enough water;;; or mmaybe something is wrong.


sittibng to long;; computer use;;

i got up scared; feeling my energy sapping from me;

Crystal ; dont;; I heard myself saying;;

dont pass out;;; be strong;;
i started prayer to God to strengthen me and it helped;;

i thought water;;

i drank a little; food; i ate a sandwich i could barely eat but knew i wanted to be awake; alive and well;

i needed more water;

i started looking for the source

my sisters kids run downstairs;;

i try to normalize myselg;

my sister folloews;; hunching to hold my self up after kneeling before they arrived;;


i brace myself against the wall;;


screaming on my spirit;; i want to be ok;


my symptoms oddly similar to either low bloodpressure or sugar;

i pray in my spirit;; i want to live;;

please;; right me;; i try to focus;; the children;; ok;; they got to go back up so i find a bottle of water 1/8 full ;; i think thank God;; i drink a little;; im in the bathroom having followed the children;

i turn the faucet on and refill the bottle before i look at my niece grabbing for something;; gesturing that she wants lip gloss;

i laugh i lean over; grateful i haven't passed out;; i grab the shea butter and rub it on her mouth;; there ;; lip gloss;; on her face;; and on her back;;

i see her reach for my brush;; in fact as i write this i realize she still has my pik comb;

i brush her hair and go upstairs;

to my room;; awreck that i had begun finally reorganizing;; the pile of large trash bags i left at the door from my cleaning effforts;

i look at the bed; piled high with the rest of the organizing process;; i fall to lay on the bags;; its just paper i think;; i look up and see my mother water pitcher i found two night ago and had brought up the night before ;; full of water;

thats right;; i came to the room knowing i had some half empty water bottles;


the pitcher!!

i see a cup i left on the shelf ;; conviently in reach from my post laying ontop of the bags of recyclable trash;


i see myself in the large mirror;; i start praying that no force has a right over me but God;; I rebuke whatever this grasp on me;;

i started to feel better;; i reflected on this nightmare i had the night before and how i called for help;; so i thought;;

Crystal-- youre an otherwise health individual;;; pray;;

I prayed my life into Gods hands;; drinking water;; hoping that this dizzying spell threatening to pull me from consciousness;;



the water helped; mainly when i threw a cup ful on my face;; i started messaging my face and temple;

finding the tensions knots;; conviently i had seen a gel face serum i bought from forever21;; i scan the ingredients;; castor oil; allatonion; anise;; i pour it;; it says it cools your skin; and it felt so good;; as i rubbed my face and the rest of my body;;; i felt better;;

whole;

my nephew called from the other side of my door;; half knocked down from the summer;; so i guess if i passed out;; they wuldnt have had a hard time getting to me sin e i normally like to keep my room door locked;;;


i breathe;;

my nephew peeks in;;
what are you doing?? he ask;;


Aunty is taking a break;

him;; a break;;

yeah;;

she neds to sit down and drink water;;

why not on your bed??


me; no room;; and aunty is glad its comfortable right here to drink this water;

i look at the time;;

i have work;


ok;; gotta go;; he wants to stay with me in my room;

i start handing him my work items to help me downstairs to get ready;;


lol;;


i get downstairs having taken the pitcher and cup with me;;

he asks for water;; i give it to him;

he points to his stomach;;


aunty you have to press here like this;

he does an acupressure point below his ribs at his diaphragm;

i point to my womb and do it since it was the first place after rubbing my face with a gel that i put it on;; reflecting;; like at the ob'gyn when your pregnant;

my nephew kisses my stomach and says ok better;

i wonder what the hell is happeneing;

i send him upstairs to get ready for work;; promising snacks before church when i see him;


i wrote this;


i gotta watch my health;; i guesss im due for the doctors and might want to use my old home nurse items on my self to check my sugar and prsseure as a reference;;

that was scary