i thought about it

psalms 21:8

well my writing did help me catch;;

ok;; so our ex met you in college? told you about me? you kissed some other guy- yall broke up;

i knew because he told me; we parted;;; you stalked both of us;

you look like the shorter fatter;; more indian version of me;


i dont know what happened after;;

but youre supposed to get married to another man;; but i think i saw you on the bus near wear he lived so you cheated? or are trying to because you followed me on social media when i returned; you know of me so?? then you kept leaving Baltimore to come to dc to tempt him from online;; you developed a sunday Instagram schedule because thats when i posted my sundays best

then theres bee? shes.. following me too- and i guess they shared depression and pets;

but you! you i actually read your posts;; and i at first i noticed a trend;; but i found you heart in the mess;; and you say you saw him and you loved him and he texted you back and dsaid he loved you;

he never said that to me; or the face thing or stars;
you think youre his soulmate;; well your name is the indian version of his;

i think its interesting that we are distant cousins;; we share my fathers last name;; i think youre wrong and manipulative; but here we are. i think if you loved him you wouldn't have tried to hurt him with your fiancée; see you moved on to like 5 guys from your posts; and youre actively being taken on vacations by this current one;; but your in love with the boy i know somehow. The one thing I know bout the name John, is that it also means toilet; So I smell something shitty-- and i think soulmates means more than a shared first kiss; especially since you two broke up from you kissing another boy while with him;; so;; there goes that analogy.,,,,

i hope you dont get me wrong. im not trying to judge you. i just feel disenchanted and upset by the plot you've managed to create that even leaving sais boy makes me wonder how better off he is knowing how you are doing...



but i dont think he's mines either because i have no basis like you two; but i think you have someone;; and i think your purposeful attempt to divert him from me while having someone;; and me being placed back is sabotage at best;; i dont know why he and i met again after all these days;
i mean;; i thought i knew;;
i really missed the time i came to visit from new York;; i has had to wear this gold dress from a new years Christmas party that needed a wash but i had an early call time and it was the cutest thing i could find for him that i had since making my dress the night before well;; i had an early call time;

i prayed with him; i think that was the realest i could muster when we re met;; he's set on not forgiving me;; i guess its all confusing;;

i mean i understand how it can be frustrating;;

but;; he and i tried a little despite;; and he wants me to move on- which i guess is different than what i thought he was capable because i learned from you;; since he had a girl when you two saw each other again;; he said i love you to you and called you;

i dont get calls; or love yous'';;


thats ok. but i did notate all the drama. and i want him happy;; and its not my right to determine if he ends up with you;;

but he;;; i want to make a plumbers joke about him being a good toilet;;

i guess youre a good toilet too;


i just want him healed so he can be the good guy that made so many fall in love;; but for him to be and share that with one special person;;
i want him happy; because ive heard and learned so much about how he secretly hurts and maybe he's fine now but;; i just know he's human just like me;;

and there are these small wounds from early;

kinda like my belly button.

lol. i just wanna make sure God takes care of him