Woke up after a dream where i was shown why i needed to lose my job - in the dream i was still employeed but my two favorite employees kept telling me that i was ready, that i had been prepared and cared for there and i my purpose needed me to leave there. the dream kept showing me that if i had stayed there trouble would come. they helped me prepare and made me select the clothes to keep and move forward with and which to throw- i saved two items that were wet and dirty in a tub- the dress i went on a first date with this finance guy last summer- i kept saying that my sister gave it to me- i guess i did buy it based off of her fashion sense - as well as a white button up shirt with lace frills. they both dressed me in white did my hair placed a garland of huge white flowers and kept rubbing me in scented oil.
i woke up at 11;30 cut some cantaloupe - read some random article in my newsfeed, about how ducks are supposed to be fed frozen peas, grapes, and something else cut in half rather than junk food bread. i thought that was weird choice of article, then i remembered that a week before i lost my job when i was sent home early because business was slow, i went to the tattoo shop a block over where my dj friend works and sells my piercing jewelry and said i wanted to get the duck tattoo i had been thinking about for two weeks with the words faith written under it. Interesting side note was that there was a new tattoo artist who had just started that day and the only other artist was the piercer. i was that guys first tattoo on his first day at 10:30 pm and after showing him my idea images he said he wanted to draw his interpretation of the look i was going for.
So here i am on a Sunday, wondering what am i going to do to get myself out of the mess im in and i just thought 'f- it'. i went into on room grabbed a fol up chair and placed it in the bathroom i brought my laptop and placed it on the chair far away from the tub- filled the tub up with water and said to myself im going to sit in this tub an listen to joel olsteen until im ready to get out.
I spent 5 hours in the tub just washing and listening to the sermon. I watched as i washed how the plain water began to turn colors as i washed. i continued to listen to his sermons as they really got into my head- about Gods blessings, about loving people unconditionally, about speaking blessings into our lives, about not saying anything if we didnt have anything positive to say. By the third hr i was still soaping and listening and when i looked down at the water the water was clean and full of bubbles. i noticed all of my tattoos, or at least the ones i could visibly see on myself- which is ten (technically 9 and 1/4) of twelve. i looked up and saw my rubber ducky and threw him in the tub with the bubbles and kept listening.
i was surprised that the water still felt warm after 4 hrs. the battery died and i was just reflecting on my lessions and still washing. looking up i saw all these products in the bathroom i barely use. what ever was good to go in the bath or be rubbed on i threw it in saying- im tossing these, using them up, or giving them away. i poured an entire bottle of oil in the tub sprayed two different body sprays and perfumes on myself and into the water- one was a knock off of a gucci fragrance that smelt good for $2 called love me- the other was a vs body spray my friend gave me with a lotion last year as a birthday present called aqua kiss.
i had this one thermal lotion that turned your skin hot then cold. which is a terrible idea in a tub full of look warm water- even when i ran hot water on my skin the cold numbing affect from rubbing the entire jar on my body was magnified- this product- that- into the tub- the water smelt great.
then it began changing colors (the oil) i grabbed a bar of soap washing again wondering if i could get the bubbles to come back. some did but the oil separated them, i drained the tub and rub coupious amount of the barely used Victoria's Secret Aqua Kiss lotion and spray, freaking out about how fresh the scent was and how i should have been wearing it to castings.
i got out of the tub and thought just how different i managed to feel by such a simple act, how i didnt have to fix anything that whatever was to be fixed was being fixed. how grateful i am to have a home and the ability as of right now to give myself a queen style bath. how i didnt plan it but somehow i ended up in a tub because of a duck and was in a sense being anointed, and even better knowing that im due for another session tonight.
I guess this post is more exposition than anything else, but its funny I think how God chose to reach me this day
in fact i think its best to leave this post as it is so that whatever the people who read this neeed to get out of this get that.